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I have been close companions for more than 20 years, a person who's overcome several challenges, her resilience is commendable. However, she has been repeatedly blindsided by people. Her partner walked away, which came as a massive blow. Many of her social circle vanished at that point, because they seemed focused solely on her husband. She was stunned by her deeply. She made more effort toward our bond, and must have realised better the meaning of companionship.

A Recurring Theme of Disappearance

In the time since, many of her friends have disappeared without her being knowing the cause. The company she worked for became hostile, despite the fact that she was very skilled at her work, and she left unaware of the reason for the change.

Current Dynamics

Recently, we've both stepped back from work and are seeing time together, but I am finding my role between us is to listen. I introduce subjects only for her to redirect conversation onto things she cares about. Politically, she expresses unyielding views. My effort is to propose verifying facts or other angles.

She is organizing a vacation abroad I have traveled to on several occasions and resided in previously. I attempted to share insights, but this was met with resistance. She purely solely sought my agreement with her choices. I've just ended a month in that country she hopes to catch up, however, I hesitate.

Considering the Choices

I am unwilling to be a friend that walks away without explanation, but I don't think she will ever comprehend the consequences of how she acts on my confidence. Right now, I am in avoidance mode. How should I proceed?

Possible Paths

It's possible to walk away, however, that approach is seldom the peaceful resolution that we desire. But confrontation aiming for a solution requires bravery and readiness from both people.

Therapists recommend applying a effective method for resolving disputes:

"The first step is to state what typically happens in your conversations. Aim for this to be based on facts and essentially exactly what occurs. The second is to express her how it affects you emotionally. Ideally, there's no argument on this point. Your feelings are valid, of course. Step three is to question how you are both going to change the interaction between you."

Keep in mind your friend has her own side, thus requiring you to stay open to hear that. A helpful technique involves stating her:

"Now you talk and I promise to not say anything for a set time."

It's remarkably successful in fostering better communication.

Key Takeaways

Your friend could ignore everything, as some people hold onto a “survival narrative”: they rely on a story regarding their experiences they're unable to let go of since their identity is tied to it and it represents they trust. This is difficult because there's no clear path with these people, just dead ends. However, she might at first react this way then consider about what you've said. And even if you never reach a fix, it will give you satisfaction from having been open and direct.